We’ve recently entered into a new era in our household – with something that has taken over our tub – bath toys! I’m not really sure that at five months old Reagan cares about entertainment during bath time {other than Mommy} but it still felt right. During that first bath time, I showed her each water creature and how they all have little spouts to blow water out. I practiced on the side of the tub, on Reagan’s arms and tummy and on Daddy when he peeked in to see what all the commotion was about. She was happy just trying to stuff the purple walrus into her mouth.

Fast forward to today. Today I’m tired. It’s been a long week. So during Reagan’s nap time I decided to indulge in a hot bath. I turned on the water, grabbed a cold bottle of water to drink and dipped my body into the glorious heat. I closed my eyes and leaned back… “squeak!”

I knew the toys were in the tub but I was too lazy to scoop them all out into the bathroom sink and I haven’t made it to the store to buy one of those mesh bathtub-toy bags yet. I assumed they would just gently float around me while I relaxed. I would hardly know they were there. And yet almost all had wedged themselves between me and relaxing recline.

Kind of like motherhood.

Reagan has brought joy and entertainment to my life but also requires a lot of extra work. She refuses to gently fit in to my schedule, my routine, instead changing every part of my life from the inside out. And if I don’t acknowledge her presence, her method of notifying me sounds an awful lot like “squeak!” Or it did until she found her lungs. Reagan has wedged herself into every crevice of my heart until the thought of life without her brings me physical pain.

Life as a mom is wonderful and hard and messy and beautiful. And I wouldn’t trade it for the world, even if that means that my little restful moments alone are met with a tub full of toys.